Replacement Behaviors

You may have already heard the expression, "tell your kid what to do instead of what not to do." But what is the easiest way to implement this. Follow these simple steps:

(1) Identify what your child wants. Behavior occurs because we want attention, we want to escape or avoid something, we want access to an item or because it just feels good internally.

(2) What is an easier, more appropriate way your child can ask for what they want? You will need to teach your child a new way to ask for what they want, but the key is that it must be easier than what they are doing already. If your child struggles with speaking, then requiring them to speak a full, polite sentence to make their request is unlikely to work!

(3) Make a plan for how you can ensure you give them what they want when they ask appropriately. You want to be sure you reinforce the replacement behavior, so consider carefully how you can do it realistically!

EXAMPLES

Let's say your child is tearing up homework.

(1) You identify that your child wants to escape having to complete the homework.

(2) You decide to teach them to make a T shape with their hands as a symbol that they want a break.

(3) When your child makes the symbol T with their hands, you immediately remove the homework.

Later, you will begin to reintroduce the homework, but our first goal would be to reduce tearing up materials!

Let's say your child is screaming or stomping whenever you are on the phone.

(1) You identify that your child wants your attention when you are on the phone.

(2) You decide to teach them to gently tap your arm two times, then wait.

(3) When they tap you twice, you say, "Please give me a moment" to the person on the line. You then attend to your child or answer their question.

Later, you will teach your child about appropriate interruptions, but our first goal would be to reduce screaming and stomping!